WITH the number of normal, everyday people declining at a faster rate than ever before, experts have predicted that the earth will be populated solely by celebrities in just over 40 years.
Although the world has always had to cope with a set amount of famous people, the dawn of movies, radio and TV in the last century saw a spike in their numbers.
These figures were described as ‘manageable’ until the advent of reality TV, during which the numbers of people suddenly famous for no particular reason rose exponentially, reaching crisis level in 2010.
With the onslaught of new, ‘internet celebrities’ such as YouTubers, Vine stars, Snapchat stars and Vloggers, researchers believe that the ratio of normal people to fame-hungry, no-talent clowns has tipped irreversibly in favour of the celebs, and have given the year 2057 as their best guess as to when the last normal human gives up and becomes an ‘online sensation’ or a ‘reality TV star’.
“We’ll all be divided into ranks, from Z-list to A-list,” said Dr. Kenneth Yeahman, head statician and also a Twitter hotshot in his own right.
“There’ll be no such thing as ‘not famous’. Even Mongolian sheep-herders will have a YouTube channel, and claim some small degree of fame. Everyone will have a Wikipedia page, and a blue tick on Twitter. Nudes leaked everywhere. Mass hysteria”.
Dr. Yeahman surmised that 2057 will be followed by the great celeb war of 2058, which will then be followed by a blissful period of nuclear apocalypse.