5 Things About 1996 That Only Tom From Longford Can Relate To

WITH the well of online listicles getting perilously empty and pretty much all of the good titles already taken, sit back as WWN brings you the top five things that will bring you a warm glow of nostalgia and a yearning to return to the simplicity of 1996, particularly if you’re Tom from just outside Longford town. Here’s 5 things that Tom and Tom alone can relate to:

1) Getting thrown out of Jerry Maguire for being drunk and shouting ‘up the Ra’

In a list titled ‘5 things about 1996 that everyone can relate to’, we could have put in an entry called ‘watching Jerry Maguire’… but there’s already been nostalgia-bait lists about basically every year from 1970 onwards. Indeed, if we were to write a list titled ‘5 things we all remember from Jerry Maguire’, we could talk about the cute kid and ‘show me the money’ and all that… but that list is already online somewhere. Literally all we can write about is Tom’s experience of the movie, where he got thrown out because he thought the name Jerry Maguire was ‘a pure Ra name’.

2) Clipping the wing mirror of a Volkswagen Polo with your Civic and just driving on

Remember the thrill and terror of August ’96, when you were perhaps driving a bit far out on the road and you took the wing mirror of an oncoming Polo clean off? Not even stopping to think, just driving on and hoping for the best. You may not relate to this, but you know who does? Tom from Longford!

3) Listening to Alanis Morrissette while shifting Ciara Malone

Jagged Little Pill eh? What an album! Ciara Malone? Not bad looking back in her day. So many memories for Tom from Longford! Maybe best not think about the follow-up album from Alanis, though. Or Ciara for that matter. She turned out to be a real nasty piece of work, just insurance scam after insurance scam.

4) Eating 16 bags of Tayto and then hearing about Tupac Shakur being dead

There’s a nostalgia-centric article on the internet titled ‘5 Things You Felt When you Heard About Tupac Getting Shot’. We don’t even need to check; we know it’s there. These things are just easy clicks, and they basically wrote themselves until all the available titles got used up by Buzzfeed and the like. The only way to do a unique list is to make it even more specific, like this list here. Tom’s experience of hearing about Tupac is particularly unique, given that he was 4/5ths of the way through a 20-pack of cheese & onion.

5) Hearing about Take That splitting up and not really giving a fuck because you had just failed Irish and French in your mocks

Are we right, Tom? You know it. Anyone other than Tom may be wondering why the fuck anyone would write such a niche, specific list at this stage, but we remain confident that we’ve gotten a click from every single Tom in Longford at this stage, and that’s all list-makers care about.