ONE Waterford man has spent the entirety of his work night out wishing that a hostage situation would break out, which would allow him to be the Die Hard-style one man army he always knew he could be.
IT specialist Liam Kennehan, is currently in hour 3 of the McJennon & Associates Christmas party in Waterford city centre, and has been trapped talking to the boring lad form accounts for pretty much the entire time.
With no sign of the party livening up at any time, Kennehan has allowed his mind to wander to the fictional Nakatomi Christmas party featured in the 1989 action classic Die Hard, which was overtaken by European bad guys until the intervention of heroic super-cop John McClane.
With nothing to look forward to at the McJ & A party, except an hour-long round of speeches, Kennehan is hoping that the Waterford branch of ISIS or some similar terrorist group seizes control of the function room where the party is being held, setting the stage for some kick-ass heroics.
“I wonder, would I fit into that ventilation shaft,” mused Kennehan, staring longingly at a 9″ x 8″ louvre vent above the door leading into the hall.
“Then I’d be able to take out a few ISIS lads and make my way to the roof and jump off, maybe swing back in through a window on the lead from the Christmas lights or something. That’d be pretty sweet, take out all the terrorists, save all my co-workers… well, maybe not Barry from HR. That’ll teach you to turn down my request for a pay rise Barry, you prick. You’re Ellis, Barry. Someone has to be Ellis”.
With no sign of a terrorist takeover happening anytime soon, Kennehan has admitted that he’ll probably just get absolutely hammered instead.