Local Man Insists He’s Never Seen Star Wars

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THE release of Rogue One: A Star Wars Story has granted one Waterford man the opportunity to stress, to anyone who will listen, that he’s never seen Star Wars and hasn’t got a clue what it’s about or who any of the characters are.

39-year-old Mike Flanaghan takes a curious pride in having never seen Star Wars, even though he has ‘kind of seen one or two of them on telly’ down through the years and has the basic gist of the story.

Whenever overhearing co-workers or strangers talking excitedly about the new blockbuster addition to the series, Flanghan has used this as his prompt to state that he hasn’t seen anything to do with the series, adding that he ‘gets it mixed up with Star Trek’ even though there’s no possible way that anyone with half a brain could do that.

“All this? It might be Harry Potter as far as I’d know,” lied Flanaghan, walking through an aisle in his local shop packed with wall-to-wall Star Wars merchandise.

“Haven’t a clue. Not a notion. That lad in the black helmet? Is that Luke Sky-whatever? And the big wolf looking lad, is that Harrison Ford under all that? I wouldn’t know, because I. HAVE. NEVER. SEEN. STAR WARS”.

Flanaghan has also never seen Dr. Zhivago, The Wind That Shakes The Barley, La Haine, Batman Forever, Regarding Henry, or indeed Friday The 13th Part IV, but feels no compulsion to stress any of this information at any time.

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