Obama To Apply For Political Asylum In Moneygall

AS THE countdown to the inauguration of the 45th president of the United States draws ever nearer, political opponents of president-elect Trump are said to fear for their freedom during his reign after previous statements hinted at the fact the billionaire would stamp out dissenting voices.

The rumours that President Obama is applying for political asylum in Moneygall emerged recently and have resulted in an excited Irish government issuing the US president with 400 passports ‘just in case he loses one of them’.

“I think after the inauguration, I’ll just go home, relax and be with my people,” Obama had stated as recently as yesterday, sparking a widespread acceptance in the Offaly town of Moneygall that this utterance was a code word for ‘I will be seeking political asylum in Moneygall’.

All expert testimony suggesting that Obama simply meant he would be returning to Chicago was rejected out of hand by Moneygall natives.

“I know a cry for help from my 32nd cousin twice removed when I hear it! You wouldn’t understand, it’s just a feeling almost blood relatives share with one another,” Maire Obama, real name Maire O’Neill, shared with WWN.

After learning that he would likely spend upwards of 10 years in a Direct Provision Centre before finding out if his application for asylum in Moneygall could be granted, it is believed Obama stated ‘still sounds better than 4 years under that orange prick’.