7 Subtle Ways To Tell Your Friend You Hate Their New Boyfriend

WE ALL have that one friend, who finds themselves caught up in a whirlwind romance with a guy and before you can blink, he becomes ‘the boyfriend’.

The boyfriend that for some reason you just don’t like in the slightest, but you can’t just come out and say it like that. WWN is on hand to help you subtly infer that the new Mr. Right might not be right for your BFF.

1) He tried to kiss me

While this is an outright lie, it’s subtlety lies in the fact that your friend will have no idea that you simply resent how happy they seem in their new relationship. You don’t quite know why you feel this way, but it has got to stop. NOW.

2) Didn’t you say he was on holidays in Portugal around the time Madeliene McCann went missing

You’re not implying anything, just saying.

3) I liked you better when you were as unhappy as I am

Maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t all they’re cracked up to be, or maybe it’s the fact that your friend is displaying the sort of unconfined contentment you wish you could obtain. Regardless of the reason, it’s important to imply that maybe your friend isn’t as happy as they appear, in fact, they seemed much more content before this new guy came on the scene.

4) OK, he didn’t try to kiss me, we just fucked

You’re not happy so why should your friend be. And that fucker bought them a new phone for like, no reason at all, no one has ever done that kind of shit for you. So, yeah, although a complete fabrication, you can tell your friend their new BF took you to pound town.

5) Aren’t relationships just a social construct to keep us from fulfilling our own potential

Like, when you think about it, isn’t having a boyfriend just about the most basic bitch thing a person can do. Your friend is trapping themselves in the most restrictive and redundant of society’s demands; a rewarding romantic relationship.

6) I found some disturbing images on his laptop that I definitely didn’t plant there in an attempt to frame him

Don’t worry about explaining why you were in their boyfriend’s house, that’s not the issue here, the issue is the guards have been called and you’ve been proven right – he just can’t be trusted and he’s looking at 10 years in the Joy.

7) I’m only saying this as a friend, but you could do better

Planting the seed of doubt is key. Following these steps WWN has outlined a flawless underground campaign to derail your friend’s happiness and all because it is the right thing to do in order to make yourself feel better on the inside. They won’t suspect a thing.