Government Reverse Ministers Pay Rise After Realising They Can’t Get Away With It

GOVERNMENT ministers have come out today to reiterate that their decision not to take up the €12,000 increase in salary is down to a matter of conscience and not because they would be burned at the stake for accepting it.

“Look, we’re sorry, we’re constantly banging on about recovery this, recovery that, we sometimes forget it’s a load of bollocks. And when you’re not paying attention to that you can accidentally believe it all and chuck yourself €12,000 but as voters now know we’re not taking it,” a minister shared with WWN earlier this morning.

Many members of the cabinet insisted the decision was a ‘no brainer’ and confirmed they didn’t want any sort of praise for the decision from the public, even though €12,000 can buy you a lot of lovely things these days.

“This government could collapse at any moment, prompting a snap election and I don’t want voters thinking I was delighted to receive €12,000. I want them to see me as the person who rejected it, knowing it would look bad and might put my seat at risk,” an unnamed minister confirmed to WWN.

Ministers outright denied that the only reason they didn’t accept the payment is because the public simply wouldn’t stand for it.

“Don’t be silly, they take everything lying down, we could have gotten away with upping it by €50,000. At worst Joe Duffy would have had to listen to Joan from Cabra moaning for an hour and then everything would go back to normal,” confirmed another unnamed minister.