Government To Unveil Budget In Sold Out 3 Arena Gig

THE stage is set and the tickets sold out in record time, shortly after 12.30pm today Michael Noonan will take to the stage, complete with a pyrotechnic display to deliver the most anticipated budget setlist in years.

Support will be provided by Pascal O’Donoghue, and despite not being asked Leo Varadkar has offered to open for the main act. Minister Noonan has suggested he will enter the stage via a zip wire at the top of the venue’s ceiling.

“We’ve had to move it from Leinster House due to the demand, everybody wants a ticket, what can I say I know how to put on a show,” minister for finance Michael Noonan confirmed. Tickets for the event are being sold on the black market to unions, charities and front line workers hoping to gain access to the front row, however, it is believed a number of multinationals have been given those seats free of charge.

“The multis have got the VIP treatment, I’ve heard rumours they know the setlist and everything,” a disgruntled garda who was unable to get a ticket to the event told WWN.

The budget, bucks the trend of previous governments, who have often found their second, not their first budget to be the most difficult one to complete and share with the public.

“This budget was complicated as Michael and the lads took the Beyonce approach to writing it, and got a load of different people to write,” explained economist Gareth Conalty.

It is rumoured some 44 TDs from the Fianna Fáil collective have received writing credits for their work on this year’s budget.

However, no one from the Independent Alliance will be given a writing credit.