Jobstown Trial Judge Awards Joan Burton €14 Million In Damages

THERE was an abrupt and bizarre end to a court case today in Dublin as Joan Burton was awarded €14 million in emotional damages by a judge, WWN can reveal.

In just one puzzling aspect of a trial that hardly seems to meet even the most basic concepts of legal merit, former Tánaiste and relevant politician Joan Burton, just a witness in the trial of a 17-year-old boy, was awarded the damages shortly after taking to the stand.

“Some of them had expensive phones,” Burton recalled through sobs, as she recounted the time she was forced to interact with members of the public.

The judge immediately abandoned proceedings, delivering damages to Burton, which seem to have no basis in Irish law.

“Poor people, with expensive phones? This is outrageous,” the judge remarked as he took the time to hand out life sentences, at the behest of Burton, to anyone in the public gallery that seemed like they might object to Irish Water.

In some of the most troubling reports to come from the courts today it is alleged the young man at the centre of the incident, which saw Burton trapped in her car for several hours, had an ‘accent’.

More as we get it.