Friend Would Say The Same Thing To Your Face If You Were There

ONE of your friends has today slammed you in a tell all interview with WWN this evening after revealing several character flaws that he would have no trouble explaining to your face.

Kevin, who would normally keep ‘tight-lipped’ about your affairs, was forced to ridicule you in a manner only an enemy would, despite knowing you for almost 5 years.

“I’ve just had enough of his happy-go-lucky attitude and his irritating ways,” Kevin told us, behind your back while we coaxed him with beer, “Don’t get me wrong, he’s a sound chap an’ all, and one of my best friends, but sometimes he just doesn’t know when to cop on to himself. He’s always the same and I’d have no problems telling it to his face”.

After his fifth pint, the friend you once cherished went on a 47 minute rant about your girlfriend Jessica, who he thinks is actually a cunt, and no good for you in the long run as she shifted Denis Hayes behind your back at Martha and Chris’ wedding last May, and probably sucked off James Hackett in the toilets at Longitude, but couldn’t be 100% sure, and not to quote him on that.

“I wouldn’t tell him about what happened because he’s a good mate and I don’t want to see him hurt,” Kevin added, now fucking hammered, “I’d give her one meself I would, but just to piss her off and break the two of them up. I’d be doing him a fucking favour I would. Girlfriends are temporary, but mates are forever”.

With that, Kevin texted your girlfriend Jessica to see if she would like to come out for a drink, but insisted on not telling you.

“I’d shift her in front of his face, if he was here” your best mate Kevin concluded.