THE Government has scored a rare PR victory with the good news that despite many children waiting as long as 27 months for a routine MRI scan, one lucky child finally made it to the top of the queue.
Darragh Lessing, the chosen child, is now a 44-year-old electrician and man and remains enthusiastic after under-going the scan.
“Ah, in fairness, I think at 10 years of age, I would have been a bit worried going into a machine like that,” confessed Lessing, “but now with the extra 34 years of experience behind me and three kids of my own I was better able to handle the whole thing”.
News of Lessing’s successful MRI scan will come as a great relief to those parents of children who are awaiting scans themselves in Our Lady’s Children’s Hospital in Crumlin. The wait for children under 7 is currently at 27 months as the hospital’s anaesthetic service is overstretched in an underfunded health service.
The confirmation from doctors that Darragh was in fact tumour free was admittedly a relief.
“The wife would say I’m too patient a person, but look it, it might have 34 years in limbo, but at least now I know I’m healthy and the worrying can stop”.
Lessing’s parents John and Margaret were said to be grateful to the HSE for finally getting around to seeing their baby boy.
The official Government response has been muted as a spokesperson confirmed they have successfully switched off the part of their conscience which is vulnerable to sick and needy children.
Options to remedy the current situation are not believed to involve extra funding. Department of Health suggestions seen by WWN includes ‘making a ‘beep bop beep’ noise in front of children, pretending to be MRI machine’ and ‘parents crossing their fingers and having a pray’.