Lovin’ Waterford: Enjoy Prison With This Simple Recipe For Boiling Sugar-Water

HERE at Lovin’ Waterford, we know that prison life is what you make of it… are you going to sit solemnly in your cell for a whole six months, regretting your part in the murder of your spouse, or you can get out there and live as little!

Nothing says “I’m here!” in prison quite like sending a nice warm batch of boiling sugar-water to a fellow prisoner or group of prisoners… it’s your way of saying, “I’m quite the character, so you better get used to me!” Follow our dead-simple recipe to ensure that everyone in jail knows you’re just the bestest!

You will need:

Water (boiling)

Sugar

Here’s the method…..

Add the sugar to the boiling water, while keeping the temperature as high as you can. Don’t let the water cool, as you need it to be piping hot when you deliver it to that fucking grass in cell 2c. Stir it up, and you’re ready to go!

Add some panache

Remember, this is your signature dish, so you have to present it with a bitt of pizzazz! Don’t just pour it over the nonce in the next cell; really throw it! You want to make a statement with this dish; it’s not “oh, here’s some sugar-water”, it’s “hey hey hey bitches, Lovin’ Waterford has a sale on boiled sugar-water, and there’s enough for all you fucking screws!” Sell it, you know? People appreciate someone who enjoys their work.