Prince George Enters 10th Hour Of Torturing Peasant Who Spoke Ill Of Him

“Bring me the peasant who dared to speak ill of me”.

The words of Prince George echoed through the corridors of his summer palace as he ordered his butlers to kidnap a 52-year-old employee of the British Council, who stands accused of ranting online about how the royal family of Great Britain sponge off the taxpayer and Prince George is the dictionary definition of ‘white privilege’.

Fearing the violence which lurked beneath the three-year-old’s gorgeous hazel eyes, the butlers rounded up the peasant responsible and transported her to a dank basement where she continues to be held.

“Do you like my toys?” the adorable future ruler of Great Britain asked the woman who has been chained to a chair for upwards of 10 hours as Prince George displayed a dazzling array of sharp knives.

“Sometimes after I cut someone I drink their blood, sometimes I don’t, but be warned Mommy forgot to pump last night so I’m a hungry boy,” the darling prince told the offending peasant who remained bound and gagged, fearing for her life.

It’s little wonder his father, Prince William, described his son as ‘quite the little handful’ earlier this week.

“‘White privilege’, is it? Well, it’ll be a privilege to reduce you to a thousand jigsaw pieces,” the 3-year-old added, before asking one of his butlers if he remembered to series record Peppa Pig, Eastenders and When Children Kill on the Sky Box.