Ireland’s 26% Economic Growth: The Facts

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WHAT does Ireland’s astonishing 2015 growth mean for us as a people, a nation and society?

You’ll have heard a lot guff about ‘leprechaun economics with some economic scholars going as far to say our 26% growth in GDP is ‘a load of fucking nonsense altogether’.

But are they right? WWN seeks to clear up the muddied economic waters so you can have all the facts:

Can I expect any money for this shite then?

As part of the unprecedented economic resurgence, everyone in Ireland will receive a cheap holiday home in a European city of their choosing.

I’m confused, 26% sounds like a lot of percent, more than 25% as far as I know, does this mean the good times are back?

People who claimed homelessness is a problem are now legally bound to queue up outside Leinster House and the offices of the CSO and apologise. So, yes, the good times are back baby!

Is the increase just down to opportunistic companies setting up shop in Ireland for tax related reasons?

Excellent question. It is now illegal to demand multinational companies, who are largely responsible for the huge 2015 upsurge in GDP, to pay any tax as to do so would obliterate the recovery. So, no, you’re wrong and a court summons is on its way, you unpatriotic bastard.

Did the government do this, and do I have to praise them?

No, you don’t have to praise them silly. However, Fine Gael has retired their slogan ‘Keep the Recovery Going’ and replaced it with ‘Recovered. You’re Welcome Ireland’.

So, hang on, what’s changed, economically speaking?

Frankly speaking, fuck all really.

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