Man On Date Insisting On Paying For Meal Can’t Really Afford It

A LOCAL student on a date has found himself insisting he pay for everything, despite knowing full well he can’t afford it due to being flat out broke.

Son-of-two Joe Kearney began an ill advised attempt to impress his date Ciara Clarke shortly after dessert was finished, by insisting he pay for dinner, impressively disregarding first date etiquette which often sees a couple split the bill.

“Ugh, I don’t know what I was thinking I’m smashed, I had to borrow bus fare off a housemate just to get into town,” Joe told WWN as he crouched in the restaurant toilets frantically checking his bank balance online.

The 21-year-old was regretting his behaviour at the dinner table as he suffered intense flashbacks of himself batting Ciara away like he was billionaire Mark Zuckerberg shopping in a one euro shop during a half price sale.

“Ah no, it’s okay really, I’ll just live on a diet of air and beans for the next month, and if I get a second date I’ll just put it off until I win the lotto” Joe told himself unconvincingly.

Ciara, a similarly cash strapped student, made one last attempt to pay half of the €80 food and drinks bill, but was yet again dismissed by Joe who couldn’t help himself at this point.

In a final act of bank balance sabotage, Joe made sure Ciara saw him leaving a generous €15 tip for their waiter.

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