US Senate Passes Bill Giving Guns The Right To Bear Arms

IN the clearest indication yet that American lawmakers are taking the threat posed to guns by lone individuals seeking to restrict access to firearms, comes the comforting news that American guns will now be allowed to carry additional guns themselves.

The Give Guns Extra Guns Bill passed with ease and now solidifies the rights of guns during a time in America when threats to guns has been on the rise.

“Your average gun, while a gun itself, has no other gun on its person and this bill enshrines in law, a gun’s right to carry a firearm,” Republican Senator John Pascal confirmed to WWN.

Other senators were equally effusive in their praise for the measures.

“The 2nd Amendment,” said Texas Senator John Humberside, over and over gain until all surrounding press became bored and left.

While voting on the senate floor, the forehead’s of any reluctant senators could be seen marked by a red dot from a sniper rifle, ensuring the bill passed with an overwhelming majority.

The snipers have been a permanent fixture on the Senate floor since they were installed by the NRA in the early 2000s.

In similar votes the Senate failed to approve gun-control measures which would see people listed on a terrorism watch list be restricted from buying firearms.

Confirming the news that June 12th’s Orlando shooting, in which 50 people lost their lives, wasn’t enough to bring both sides of the gun-debate divide together, a senior Republican Senator explained that “victims of gun violence don’t pay nearly as well as the NRA”.