Sean, Shaun Or Seán? Nation’s Seans, Shauns Or Seáns Asked To Decide Once & For All

A UNILATERAL agreement is required, that should be ratified by all participating Shauns, Seans, Shawns and Seáns in order to secure a definitive spelling of the common name, a government inquiry into how to spell Sean has confirmed.

The inquiry which was launched in 1991, and has cost the taxpayer a total of €100 million, finally produced its recommendations on what has to be done with the Nation’s Seagháns.

“You’d want to see the look of disgust on their faces if you happen to spell their name in a way that is not to their liking. I don’t care anymore, sort it out yourselves and stop blaming us for the fact there are 18 ways to spell the same bloody thing,” councillor John Hanley, head of the Is It Sean, Shaun or Seán Inquiry, said in his final address to the media in his current role.

The government is set to put in place the recommendations which will result in a nationwide vote amongst the Ireland’s Shawns. Each Seann will be asked for their preferred spelling of their name, with the official spelling decided once one particular spelling achieves over 51% of the vote.

“They can moan all they like, but it’s not like you can spell Dave with a random ‘H’ or ‘W’ just thrown in for the craic, it’s time we put an end to this shite,” explained local non-Seán, Dave Healy.

If your name is Sean, Seán, Shaun, Shawn, Seaghán or Shehawn you can register to vote at www.IsItSeanShaunShawnOrSeaghan.ie