Kenny Tells Dáil Their Summer Assignment Is “Have Fun”

TDS breathed a sigh of relief yesterday, as fears of missing out on their summer holidays were washed away by Enda Kenny who told them to take three months to “chillax and have fun”.

It had been widely believed that due to the months spent doing nothing amid the confusion and the aborted attempts to form a government after the General Election earlier in the year, TDs would have to accept a truncated holiday period this year.

However, Taoiseach Enda Kenny took to the mic yesterday to congratulate everyone in the Dáil on a fantastic three or four weeks of work this year, before cheerfully announcing that this summer, their assignment was to “paaaarty”.

“I had feared that we would have to really knuckle down all summer to tackle things like homelessness, the health system, crime, that kind of thing,” said one TD we spoke to, as he browsed online for an AirBnB.

“Instead, it’s just a regular summer; three months of Dáil-free bliss, without much of a care about anything. I’m going to head on holidays with the lads, and maybe get a part-time job just to get a few extra quid on top of my ministerial wages. Pick strawberries, something like that”.

The Dáil will be closed from July to September, with all TDs expected to have a two-page essay titled “How I spent my summer holidays” ready to read out in front of everyone.