Obama Starting To Rob As Much White House Stationery As He Can

WITH only a few months left to go in his second and last term as president of the United States of America, Barack Obama has begun to nick as much stationery as he can from the Oval Office.

Pens, notepads, rulers and erasers have all been nicked by the president, as he attempts to “make the most” out of the remainder of his term.

Watching as both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton gear up for what promises to be one of the most gruelling presidential races of all time, Obama has been sending interns to the stationery cupboard on an hourly basis, making claims that his “pen has stopped working” so that he can rob another one.

“He needn’t think we don’t know what he’s doing,” said one member of the White House staff.

“He has pockets full of biros, and still asks for more. Like come on Obama, you’ve got thirty notepads in your briefcase there. What do you need all them notepads for. Are you going to spend your retirement just doodling? I know that’s 90% of what you did in office, but that’s coming to a close now”.

Obama has drawn the line at robbing anything more than basic stationery, with sources close to the president admitting that he believes that “suspicions will be raised if staplers go missing”.