New Report Suggests Eating Some Things Good For You, Some Other Things Bad For You

A SHOCKING and groundbreaking study of food has revealed that some food is bad for you, while other foods may be good for you.

The exhaustive study, carried out by a collective made up of the world’s leading research universities concluded its work after 10 years, revealing startling facts no one had previously highlighted.

“We really weren’t prepared for what we discovered,” explained Dr. Finley McKinley, just one of thousands of experts involved in carrying out the study.

“The nutritional value of some foods was superior to other foods, it may be too soon to talk Nobel Prize for Science, but c’mon we’re a sure thing at this stage,” Dr. McKinley added.

The study’s monumental results come shortly after health bodies pointed out that ‘low fat’ food options are often filled with excessive sugar and sugar substitutes, and most shockingly of all it was claimed exercise and a balanced diet are the key to being healthy.

Dr. McKinley confirmed that the study would be made available to the public complete to handy pictures of food with the words ‘good’ or ‘bad’ next to them depending on their nutritional value.

“So, in the case of a Mars bar we’d hand out a picture and put either good or bad next to it, I’d have to consult my notes to confirm where the Mars bar falls, but I’m almost 100% certain it’s either good or bad,” Dr. McKinley concluded.

Self-appointed health gurus and six-pack owners have welcomed the news, stating that they will be able to spin the study into another money making venture.

“Now, with this new info I can turn around and rip more people off when I say chewing only the fat from steaks will bring you the key to eternal life,” Glenn Heaslip, not a dietitian, confirmed to WWN.

It is believed the majority of public will ignore the facts, instead favouring to do whatever fad diet and health regime some famous person is currently doing.