4 Class Drugs That’ll Help You With Studying For The Leaving Cert

DRUGS, leaving cert students’ best friend, or if you’re to believe the media their worst enemy. Nonsense! Want to turn that D3 foundation English result into a D2 or do you need to kick your French exam square in its balls? We’ve got the drugs that’ll help you put pedal to the metal*.

Speed

The gold standard when it comes to ramming your mouth with study aids and blitzing the next day in a studious haze. Popping one of these bad boys should get all the History curriculum nailed down, leaving you enough time for a Snapchat blitz or to do some dishes for your mam and dad, if you’re feeling generous.

Downsides? Are you kidding, it’s a drug – they are none. Will it make you paranoid? Possibly, but if you start thinking your text books are talking about you behind your back you still might learn something by trying to listen to them. Win win.

Red Bull

We’re talking a minimum of 20 cans here folks, don’t half ass it. Experts will tell you it’s like rocket fuel, but it’s not because if you drank rocket fuel you’d die, whereas with Red Bull your insides will only rot until it burns through stomach altogether. Sound bad? Did we mention that it’ll help you stay awake for a week straight which should allow some time for studying/rocking back and forth in a vivid panic.

The most expensive choice on the list but if you’re in a study jam, can you really put a price on this kind of laser like focus?

Ecstasy

Won’t help you study at all if we’re being honest but having a good old dance and letting the hair down will take the edge off, and reduce the stress levels. It all counts as studying for Chemistry when you really think about it.

Crystal Meth

The unlikely study booster has been favoured in the past by the majority of students who went on to secure 6 As or more. Stimulating the central nervous system like a boss, this bad boy should make you all the right kinds of jittery. It doesn’t always go by the name crystal meth though, just ask your local dealer for ‘honours maths’. He’ll know what you mean.

*WWN takes no responsibility for any student who seriously trips balls, dies or begins thinking they are a Taylor Swift shaped LUAS.