Nation’s Bores Getting Irrationally Excited About Golf

A SMALL but dedicated enclave of Ireland’s most boring individuals have admitted to being incredibly excited ahead of the start of the US Masters, WWN has learned.

Colossal bores with the ability to find the game of golf engaging and entertaining have rushed to share their unbridled enthusiasm for the event as it is set to get underway tomorrow.

“Yes. It is true to state that I am excited about the start of the Masters,” said one snore inducing mass of flesh, Richard Grogan when speaking with WWN, all in a dull tone void of any hint of passion.

Many of the tedious sport’s most ardent fans are expected to flood offices up and down the country with notions that once you actually understand the game, it can be anything from ‘mildly entertaining’ to all out ‘briefly entertaining’.

“I also admit to being too giddy with delight now the tournament is just 15 hours, 37 minutes and 22 seconds away from commencing,” shared a similarly indistinguishable amalgam of skin and bones, golf fan Gerry Hughes, who came worryingly close to sounding interested.

The sport continues to struggle to gain younger supporters, with the game’s most exciting episode to date remaining that time Tiger Woods’ wife tried to kill him with a golf club.