Like Omega 3? Omega 4 Will Blow Your Fucking Mind

THE latest fish-based oil from the renowned Omega corporation is promising increased heart benefits, faster connectivity to the life around you, and a swarm of other new features when people upgrade from their standard Omega 3 product to the brand new Omega 4.

The new supplement was unveiled at a glitzy health conference in Las Vegas at the weekend, along with other products such as the Omega mini and the Omega watch, subject to patent.

Onlookers had expected the unveiling of an upgraded Omega oil, but had anticipated that the new product would be the Omega 3s, with a minimum of new features. The auditorium rang out with gasps as Omega CEO Bob Carpenter pulled back the curtain to reveal an all-new Omega 4 oil, set to hit the market in October.

“You thought you were healthy with a daily dose of Omega 3? This is going to blow your God damn balls off,” said Carpenter, with his trademark brashness. “We’re talking BOOM, more heart benefits. BANG, better skin. KABLAMMO, higher brain functions, sharper vision, less joint pain… I could go on all night. Omega 4 is where it’s at from now on!”

Although industry experts have already begun hyping the new oil, concerns are growing that the new product may be manufactured by incredibly low-paid fish and krill in the Far East, under highly stressful conditions.