7 Things That Could Happen If There’s A Fianna Fáil/Fine Gael Coalition

MANY voters are worried about the fallout from a potential Fianna Fáil/Fine Gael coalition, but honestly everyone should just relax, here’s 7 reasons why everything would be fine:

1) Fine Gael, according to their figures, are building over 300,000 houses a day and Fianna Fáil know how to make developers richer than Croesus. If this coalition pairing lasts 5 years, every Irish citizen could own 12 houses each. Rejoice.

2) Fianna Fáil wanted to keep the Universal Social Charge while Fine Gael plan on removing it altogether, combining these two differing policies may prove difficult, but if the potential new coalition pull it off we could be paying the USC while also not paying it, keeping everyone on all sides of the political divide happy and slightly confused.

3) It might not be smooth sailing, but Ireland could finally get a long awaited sequel to the popular Irish Civil War of 1922-1923.

4) The public has made their opposition to and distaste of cronyism and corruption loud and clear, a Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil coalition would appoint experienced politicians such as Michael Lowry and Bertie Ahern to combatting such problems, using their years of knowledge and expertise.

5) In the election debates Fine Gael explained that there’s nothing wrong with the HSE, while Micheál Martin cured the entire country of every illness that has ever graced the planet – combining these two visionary forces in the one government would insure that HSE inefficiencies and a lack of funding would disappear immediately transforming the Nation, so stop worrying.

6) Foreign policy has taken a back seat in this election as a major issue. However, both potential coalition parties have reassured Ireland that they will send a stern tweet to the official ISIS Twitter account.

7) Encouragingly for the Irish people Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael have signed the forward-thinking ‘Everyone Parties’ pledge, which will see every single middle class family get to experience the highs and highs of the Celtic Tiger era again. However, due to budget limitations the vast majority of those that make up the lower classes will be forced to sit this one out again.