Twink Speaks Out About How Much Harder It Is To Get In Papers Since Gangland Feud Ignited

DISPIRTED National treasure Adele King aka Twink aka Not Her Again has spoken out for the first time about the horrors of not being able to get in the papers since a Dublin gangland crime feud has taken up all the vital space in the Nation’s papers.

“It’s awful stuff, horrible, such a senseless waste of human resources, all that ink on those stories when they could be interviewing me about my new cactus plant,” Twink explained, angrily flitting through the 789 pages the Irish Independent has dedicated to a reignited gangland feud which has claimed several lives in recent weeks.

The entertainer had planned on partaking in an interview with a journalist about how, if pushed, she would have to say Wednesday was her least favourite day of the week, but he was called upon to write a ‘5 Best Gangland Murders’ feature in the Sunday World.

“Oh, the Indo and the Sunday World were keen as mustard, the photographer had me posing beside the dog and the word Wednesday and I was pointing at it like I really angry at it. It was a brilliant piece, but then all these murders popped up, and the papers lost the run of themselves publishing any old shite,” Twink confirmed.

Forced to find alternative ways to get into the papers, Twink has since gone to worrying extremes.

“Myself, Rosanna Davison, Brian Dowling, your one with the face, and a whole gaggle of headline starved stars have armed up and joined the gangs, they’ll have to put us on the front page now,” Twink confirmed while loading ammunition into her rifle.