Robot From The Future Apprehended After Trying To Kill Donald Trump

380
0
Share:

THE race for the Oval Office took an unexpected twist yesterday, after police apprehended a cyborg claiming to have been sent from the year 2045 on a mission to kill Republican hopeful Donald Trump.

Appearing in the form of a well-built Caucasian male, the unit was spotted acting suspiciously outside the venue where the results of the New Hampshire primary election were being announced, and in which Mr. Trump comfortably won the Republican vote.

In total it took 14 police officers to sedate and arrest what they believed to be an ordinary man, before revealing itself to be an infiltration unit sent from the future on a desperate mission to save humanity from itself.

“We get like 8, 9 of these things every year,” said Sgt. Mike Cowslowski, speaking to the assembled press.

“People in the future keep sending robots back for one reason or another. This one kept screaming at us that we had to let him go, so that he could kill Donald Trump. Then he ranted about the future and some war with Mexico, billions dead, blah, blah, blah, the usual stuff”.

“These robots from the future are always going on about this apocalypse or that holocaust, and they always need to kill just one guy to prevent it. So we just follow standard procedure when we catch them; we throw them in the trash compactor out the back and carry on as normal”.

Donald Trump was unavailable for comment, as he was busy thinking up more inflammatory things to say about minorities.

Share:
X