Lovin’ Waterford: We’ve Eaten Coal And It’s AMAZING

LISTEN up you horrible bastards, Lovin’ Waterford is here to blow your puny little minds with our take on the latest culinary movement to sweep the nation: fossil fuels.

We’ve spent the weekend munching down on yummy turf and delicious handfuls of slack, and it has left us breathless. Are you ready to handle this incredible eating experience? We know that’s a stupid question; of course you’re not fucking ready.

First up, you have to find a bistro serving fossil fuels on a plate, so isn’t it lucky for you that there are literally hundreds just after opening up in the coolest towns in Ireland. Throw that sandwich in the bin you philistine; we just told you there was a coal restaurant near you. Jesus Christ. Some people.

The menu at Miner Threat, our coal restaurant of choice, is wonderfully simple; you can have coal, or you can fuck off. We opted for the coal, which arrived on our table in a tiny little sack – adorbs.

Many coal enthusiasts prefer to lick their coal, but if your teeth are up to the challenge, you can just start chomping away at it. The amazing smoky flavours seep into your senses as you gorge yourself on your flammable feast, and are perfectly complimented by a room-temperature glass of water straight from the tap.

Wait, are you people still reading an article about eating coal? LOSERS. Eating coal is so yesterday. You lot should be ashamed of yourselves. If you need us, we’ll be over here at the copybook cafe, eating jotters with the rest of the people who know good food.