“Just Announce The Fucking Election Date Already” Nation Shouts At Taoiseach

A FRUSTRATED and impatient Nation has begun to loudly shout in the direction of Taoiseach Enda Kenny, urging him to put them out of their misery and ‘just announce the fucking election date already’.

Kenny, the Fine Gael leader, was expected to use his slot on national television at the Fine Gael ard fheis on Saturday to reveal when the impending election would take place, freeing voters up to begin screaming and shouting at candidates as they emerge crawling out from underneath their rocks.

“Ah for Christ sake, if you’re not going to announce the bloody thing, shut up and get off the stage,” large sections of the Nation demanded as the 64-year-old used his speech at his party’s annual conference to discuss how Ireland is the greatest little country in the world, for the 8,000th time in 2016.

While the election is expected to take place at the end of February, it is rumoured the Taoiseach has become aroused by the notion that he is the only person who knows the date, and has decided to engage with his sadistic side, withholding the information for as long as possible.

“It’s driving me fucking mad too, like, I need to make certain decisions off the back of knowing when it is,” a visibly frustrated minister for finance Michael Noonan told WWN.

“But every time I ask him, he does that stupid motion with his hands like he’s zipping his mouth shut,” Noonan added.