PEOPLE who feel that their diet of non-stop processed foods washed down with sugar-filled beverages may be contributing to their expanding waistline and general poor health can rest easy, as research confirms that drinking one little bottle of odd-tasting yoghurt first thing in the morning will counteract an entire day of gluttony and excess.
Starting your day with a little bottle of Yakult, Actimel, Benecol, or their non-branded Lidl equivalent is enough to instill people with an overwhelming sensation of healthiness, so much so that they can eat a sausage roll sandwich for breakfast and still feel like they’ve got a balanced diet.
The sour-tasting hit of “good yoghurt” washing through the digestive system has been found to completely undo the harmful effects of fatty foods and alcoholic beverages, which has led to some overweight people who start the day with a Yakult wondering what is the cause of their health problems.
“I drink a wee yoghurt first thing every morning, so I’m more than entitled to eat a full pizza for my dinner every night,” said one 18st man we spoke to.
“The cleansing nourishment of the yoghurt is enough to keep me safe from ill health, so I’m puzzled as to why I can’t walk more than 30 steps without feeling like I’m about to die. Maybe my shoes are the wrong size, or something”.
Research also shows that buying exercise equipment but never using it is just as beneficial as spending an hour a day working out.