Lady C Departs Jungle For Relaxing Seal Clubbing Holiday In Canada

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LADY Colin Campbell has thanked fans for their votes during her time on the reality show I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here today after exiting the jungle on what was initially reported as ‘medical grounds’.

However, within hours of her departure the real reason was unearthed – her thirst for murder.

Speaking from a departure lounge in Melbourne International Airport, the 66-year-old socialite said she is now looking forward to a nice holiday in Canada, where she is to spend the next two weeks ‘relaxing’.

“I’ve been dying to murder something for the past two weeks now,” she revealed. “How I didn’t snap those emus’ necks, I’ll never know. I just can’t wait to batter a few seals in the crisp white Canadian snow. The warm blood splatters, the cold winter air; you can’t beat it… excuse the pun.”

The Jamaican-born writer added that she would gladly return to the celebrity jungle in the near future, as long as she would be allowed to kill her own food and fellow celebrities.

“Give me a machete and some proper game to kill and I’ll come back,” she stated, hinting that animals would not be the only thing on the menu. “A quite like the idea of a Bannatyne stew, or a Hadley sausage roll”.

A new vote will open in tonight’s show which will determine who’ll be next to leave the jungle.

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