Everyone On Bus Now Up To Speed With Dublin Girl’s Epic Night Out

FROM the driver to the guy half asleep upstairs, everyone on the 39a bus in Dublin has been brought up to date with one girl’s amazing night out with her friends, thanks to her incredibly shrill phone conversation with an as yet unidentified person.

The phone call initiated by Sheila “Shell” Long was already in full flight when she boarded the bus in Blanchardstown on her way into town.

Ignoring the hands-free capabilities of the mouthpiece on the cord of her headphones, long held the device up to her mouth and rattled on in incredible detail about what she had gotten up to the night before.

Information regarding the bars she went to, the clothes she was wearing and the “scandal” she encountered were all covered in full, with not even the slightest detail left out. Moving from the downstairs of the bus, where she lamented that there were “no fuckin’ seats”, to the upstairs section, Long spoke clearly and loudly enough to inform everyone on the coach as to “the state” she was in this morning.

“Yes, the whole thing was very revealing,” said one passenger who heard the whole conversation despite being nine seats back from Miss Long.

“The dancing, the drinking, the… ahem… lovemaking, if you can call it that… we here on the 39a were privvy to the whole lot”.

As the bus reached the stop at which Miss Long plans to disembark, she began to assure the person on the other end of the line, as well as all the passengers, that she “wasn’t even coddin'”.