Vatican Announce €300 Million Investment In Better, Stronger Prayers

IN what is the biggest investment in prayer research in the history of Christianity and Catholicism, the Vatican has today announced a €300 million research fund into discovering better, stronger prayers.

The Vatican’s chief prayologist Fr. Dr. Gavrillio Vasimilio will head up a research team of 10 priests who will travel the world in an effort to hit upon more effective payers.

“It is a great honour, but also a great pressure,” explained Fr. Dr. Vasimilio, who hoped the research would result in several historic breakthroughs.

“As everyone is aware Our Fathers, and Hail Marys are now 30% weaker than they were in the 1970s, there is a need for stronger prayers if there is to be any hope of God answering any of them,” Fr. Dr. Vasilimio explained.

With the general public’s weariness with God’s possible role in near endless natural disasters, and tragedies the Vatican is betting big with their investment, aiming for a revolutionary discovery in prayers.

“I’ve spent years in our laboratory in a specially designed confession box, altar and pew, trying out prayer after prayer and no luck. So we must branch out into the world and seek fresh ideas, and that one prayer that will hit like the 5th decade of the Rosary used to,” Fr. Dr. Vasilimio concluded.

If you have any prayers you believe could help the Vatican in their request, please contact them on 1850-The-Pope.