“I Thought It Was An Irish Water Protest” – Defends Garda WX152

A MEMBER of An Garda Síochána who was filmed using every ounce of his strength to strike an elderly man with his baton was later overheard saying that he thought he was at an Irish Water protest, according to sources.

The incident happened during a protest by community members and activists from Wexford, Wicklow and Dublin, who successfully stopped an auction of NAMA properties in Gorey yesterday.

Footage of the incident circulated on social media today clearly shows a guard with the shoulder number WX 152, who swore under oath to faithfully discharge the duties of a member of the Garda Síochána with fairness, integrity, regard for human rights, diligence and impartiality, and to uphold the constitution and the law and accord equal respect to all people, savagely smash the face off the nearest person to him.

WX 152, who can be reported to the Garda Ombudsman by anyone at anytime, was shown earlier in the video trying to maintain order, but opted later in the day to let loose a baton strike normally reserved for Irish Water protests.

“He must have gotten his protests mixed up,” said Cillian Malone, an expert on guards lashing out at the public.

“Very simple thing to do. One crowd of people yelling at you sounds the same as the next after a while. Guards get fuck all training with batons, they basically get handed them and away they go. So some protests you can go mental and beat the fuck out of whoever you want, others not so much. There’s no real hard and fast rule. If you step out of line, you can just claim you “weren’t properly trained” and you’ll walk free,” Malone continued.

“I mean, a lot of the protestors who were at yesterday’s auction are a pain in the hole, they’re the type of career protestors who claim to be ‘freemen of the country’ and the law doesn’t apply to them, that kind of shit. The type of people who make as much noise and disruption as they want and then cry “peaceful protest” when cops try and diffuse the situation. Still, for WX 152 to clock an aul lad like that was perhaps not the best way for a guard to act. It’s pretty hard to say you’re just doing your job when there’s a video of you with a “fuck this” look on your face, bringing a truncheon to a walking stick fight”.

Meanwhile, members of the US police force have commended Garda WX 152 on his excellent brutality skills, and have stated that there’s “a job for him over here anytime”.