Married Man Buys Annual 6 Pack Supply Of Condoms

ANTICIPATION was high in a Waterford household this evening after husband and father of three Tony Power purchased his annual six pack of condoms, ahead of the cold, dark Winter nights.

On a shopping errand for his wife, the 38-year-old mortgage adviser made his way to the contraceptive section in Tesco, to choose his next 12 months supply.

“I can never remember which ones I always get,” he whispered to himself, weighing up the pro’s and con’s of choosing the Tesco variety. “Were these the ones that went out of date last time? It’s been so long now that I have no idea.”

Carefully reading the packet while remaining unphased by the busy aisle, he wondered why the premium brand condoms were nearly double the price of Tesco’s.

“They’re hardly twice as good; surely there’s a standard of protection here across the board with these things,” he pondered. “Maybe that’s why everyone who shops here has a litter of kids with them. Best get the dearer ones I suppose. It’s not like I’ll be back in this aisle any time soon.”

Choosing the ‘Extra Safe’ variety, Mr. Power suddenly remembered his experience last year, when he mistakenly bought the studded type, which left him without sex for 6 months due to an infection in his wife’s uterus caused by friction from the oddly shaped contraceptive.

“Nah, best stick with these ordinary ones for now,” he concluded. “I can’t wait to try them out over the Christmas.”