Ageing Daily Mail Photographer Struggling With His ‘Upskirt Technique’

VETERAN photo-journalist Derek Rooney has admitted that all this bending down lately to capture women’s crotches as they exit limousines and taxis is starting to catch up with him, and is not sure how much more his old knees and back can take.

The Daily Mail photographer, who has visited over 180 countries and worked in some of the most dangerous war zones of the last 40 years, said the whole photographer business has changed since he was a young lad taking pictures in the Falklands.

“I had to take some difficult shots back then, but none so back-aching as this up-skirt crap,” he said, stretching his neck. “At award ceremonies I could be on a pavement for hours at a time, just waiting for the right snatch to snatch. The money is good, but you can’t place a price on your health.”

The 63-year-old began working for the Daily Mail in 2003, but soon realised it was not all Pulitzer prize winning work.

“The first assignment they gave me was to photograph cellulite on female celebrities,” he recalled. “They didn’t care who, what age, or their circumstances, so I managed to gain access to Jade Goody’s hospital bed and proceeded to take pictures of her cellulite as she lay dying. I even got a side-boob when she was being transferred to the morgue. I suppose, that’s what really boosted my career if I’m honest.”

Since then, Derek was promoted to head paparazzi for the Daily Mail, going on to photograph thousands of celebrity vagina’s over the past 12 years.

“It’s an art form really,” he said. “It beats photographing starving black lads in Africa I suppose. As I said, I’m struggling with my old age, so I’ll probably have to move on eventually to something a bit more easy, like snapping drowning refugees, or surveiling Labour MPs. I don’t know which is worse.”