“Excellent! Another Book” – Paul Williams

RUBBING his hands in anticipation, an ecstatic Paul Williams watched on closely at his 65″ TV set as newsreader Eileen Dunne announced the latest gangland funeral in Dublin city yesterday evening.

Heartbreaking scenes filled the news segment as family members and friends of Gary Hutch walked slowly behind their son, brother and father to his final resting place at Our Lady of Lourdes Church on Sean McDermott Street.

“Excellent! Another book,” the overjoyed crime reporter whispered to himself whilst stroking his one-eyed cat ‘Capone’. “I’ll get a good 145 pages out of this one!”

Desperately scribbling down ideas and leads, Williams began searching his phone for contacts, knowing too well those bridges were burnt over a decade ago.

“Dead. On-the-run. Too scared to talk; Jesus, these people are dropping like flies,” he mumbled whilst searching through his iPhone 6 Plus. “It’s not like the good old days. Looks like I’ll have to fill in some of the gaps here and there, but I’m sure myself and Google search can make it work.”

Entering several key figures into his calculator, before subtracting a 9% artist exemption tax, the more-than-happy Williams jotted down a book advance estimate onto a notepad.

“These publishers better not play hardball with me tomorrow,” he told his cat. “I still got it kid. Paul’s back in the game.”