New Passport Card Designed To Be Extra Hard To Find The Day Before Your Holiday

IRISH citizens can look forward to an even more panic-filled rummage through their presses and drawers as they pack their suitcases, following the introduction of a credit card-sized passport which is almost guaranteed to get lost minutes after you get it.

Designed to replace the outdated ‘book’ passport, the new card will enable holders to fly to 30 countries across the EU. The new card is also just the right size to fall in between old greetings cards and bills, and become hidden in the drawer you keep loose batteries and old cigarette lighters in.

This newly-losable card will prove particularly hard to find the night before a holiday, which is when the majority of Irish people go looking for their passports.

“The taxi you called for the airport is going to have to wait a bit longer, because this lil’ bastard is going to be impossible to find,” beamed Minister for Foreign Affairs Charlie Flanagan, holding up the new passport card.

“Forget about it, you’re never going to find this thing. You could keep it somewhere that you know you’ll find it again, or go looking for it the week before your holiday, but that’s not the Irish way of doing things. We leave it to the last minute to go looking for the one thing we need to go on holidays, and the passport is always just thrown in a cupboard somewhere. Good luck finding this thing!”