All Religions To Be Banned Under New Common Sense Laws

A SERIES of laws ratified by world leaders this week at a UN summit in New York has brought about an unprecedented change in the constitutions and laws that govern countries around the world.

In an effort to stem all current ongoing conflicts occurring across the world today, over 170 world leaders have signed up to an outright banning of all religions, citing ‘common sense’ as the main driving force behind the move.

“It’s just common fucking sense guys,” Russian premier Vladimir Putin told assembled media as he signed on the dotted line.

While the decision was initially met with an outcry from the citizenry of a number of nations, the benefit of such laws soon became obvious to them once the laws were administered.

“Ah, it’s class, I’m getting on much better with the Prod next door, now that he’s not a Prod, and I’m not a Catholic. Had him over for dinner last night and everything, and we had a great time, he has good taste in wine too,” Belfast native Eoghan O’Connell revealed to WWN.

The laws will be slowly phased in around the world effective immediately, with all organised religions forced to dissolve and donate their income and assets to a common funding pool which will aid those in need.

Speaking after signing the historic unilateral agreements, US president Barack Obama cut a happy and relieved figure. “This makes everyone’s job a lot easier, we’ve scaled back on all foreign led military operations now those Muslim lads, eh, I guess they’re just ‘people’ now; those people lads no longer possess a divinely inspired hatred of us and vice versa”.