WWN Guide To Finding The Best Country To Land In If You’re A Refugee

By now, we’ve all been moved by the valiant and the brave efforts of the European countries battling to keep refugees away from their borders, but still thousands of refugees have managed to find themselves in the enviable position of becoming millionaires – thanks to the generous benefits afforded to them by European nations.

All this despite the fact that every refugee is a card carrying member of ISIS, the Salifi jihadist group responsible for killing many of these not-so-innocent refugees/murderous ISIS members.

WWN explores just what is on offer here in Europe for these refugees who momentarily tricked us into thinking that had no option but to flee a war torn region in search of not being murdered. We explore which country is the best one to land in if you are a blood sucking refugee who is solely responsible for your Government’s inability to solve ongoing, completely unrelated domestic problems:

Belgium: Boy oh boy, if a refugee turns up here, they’ll think they’ve died and gone to heaven, that is if they haven’t died and gone to heaven already. Not only do these individual who are all low-skilled non-educated engineers, lawyers, teachers and doctors get a whopping €7.40 a week in spending money while residing in an asylum centre, they will also be given the use of a private jet to ferry loved ones from Syria back over to Belguim.

Sweden: Jackpot! Did you know the Swedish for jackpot is ‘jackpot’? No? Well, I can tell you those sneaky refugees know because they’ll land themselves a whopping €3 per day while residing in an asylum centre and they get meals too! And at the same time some homeless man somewhere in Sweden is homeless probably. Disgusting. The Swedish government will also build each refugee their own Mosque, even if they are Christian or non-religious.

Ireland: Refugees are trying their best to avoid the Emerald isle as they know they’ll face years of isolation in our 5 star hotels which are disparagingly referred to as direct provision centres. On the plus side all ISIS members will receive free arms training from the IRA.

UK: If tea with the Queen every Wednesday wasn’t enough, these refugees who aren’t really fleeing certain death, will also be given ample opportunity to slowly destroy civil society through enacting Sharia law in primary schools while at the same time being given 4 council houses each. When will this madness stop?

Germany: Apart from a share of that newly discovered Nazi gold in Poland, refugees are entitled to a sickening €216 a month. Can you imagine how many Korans they can buy with that which they will surely hand over to newborn Christian babies in the maternity hospitals of Germany? We can, and our imagination says it is probably about 78 Korans per person. Astonishing.

France: Asylum seekers can’t work for the first 12 months they are on French soil. Imagine that? They’ve got a full year of not having to work while we all work our arses off, and they probably get in free to the Lourve as well. Threesomes with young Parisian couples going through an experimental phase are now enshrined in law thanks to new legislation. Oh to be a refugee.