School Reunion Perfect Reminder As To Why You Never Kept In Touch

THE much anticipated 15 year reunion of the 6th year class of 2000 of St Martin’s secondary school Waterford, has served as the perfect reminder as to why no one ever kept in touch in the first place.

Of the 49 pupils who completed their Leaving Cert in 2000, 32 made the ill-advised decision to meet up in the reserved section of Connolly’s bar late last night to play catch up, finding out if their life is any better or worse than their contemporaries.

“I was really looking forward to it, but once I got in the bar I saw Jigser Kelly, O’Donovan, Matty and Fathead. Every last one of them were giant pricks in school,” Eamon Hurley revealed to WWN.

The majority of the night was defined by a number of very flagrant lies pupils told about their personal and work lives, much to the disgust of every liar.

“O’Mahony looks a good bit lighter in his Facebook profile, the belly on him, sure he was the same in school, a fat boring shite,” Richard Ryan explained to WWN, omitting the fact they he too was both boring and in need of dropping a few pounds.

Highlights of the night included describing at length how much of prick several teachers were, doing shots to mark the death of their bastard ex-principal and then discussing what cars they’re currently driving.

There was one rare moment of genuine joy shared between the group when everyone was reminded of that time Jigser Kelly was pushed out the second floor window by Marty Cummings and subsequently spent the next year in hospital recovering.

“I thought this would be a bit of a laugh, but just seeing the lads reminded of why I’ve actively tried to limit my contact with them for the last 15 years,” Conall Dunne explained shortly after telling the lads he was going home, but making for the exit instead.