Parents Fail Yearly Review Carried Out By Children

PARENTS Grainne and Alan Young have failed a yearly review carried out by their children, Emma (11), Aine (9) and Gavin (7) earlier today.

A meeting of the Family Executive Council was called by eldest daughter Emma this morning after the family returned from a week’s holiday in Donegal.

In an effort to gather as much information and feedback before the academic year starts up again in September, Emma consulted her siblings and devised a series of categories on which her parents were to be marked. This year’s performance review was the first of its kind in the Young family.

“Sorry, I don’t understand Emma, it says here under ‘holidays’ that it was ‘a bit shit’ but you guys had a great time,” Young family patriarch Alan said, clearly baffled.

“If you don’t mind, we’ll save questions for the end, we’ve just got a lot to go through,” barked middle child Aine as she downgraded her father further for the unprompted outburst.

At this point Grainne, the children’s mother took issue with being described as a ‘poor communicator’.

“Well, I’m glad you brought that up Grainne,” youngest child, Gavin responded, now visibly talking down to his parents, “this sort of brings in Alan’s grievances too. Listen, the holiday was ‘OK’ but we were promised and I quote ‘the best week ever’. It was clearly anything but. This brings to light both your tendancies to over promise and under deliver and this is a key reason you’ve failed the review”.

The parents were given a formal warning and placed on a 3-month probation at which time their performance would be reevaluated.