17 In 10 Foreigners Coming Over Here, Stealing Our Jobs

RECENT observations by a number of disgruntled Irish citizens have confirmed many people’s worst fears; an astonishing 17 out of 10 foreigners are coming over here, stealing our jobs.

“Maths isn’t my strong point, but facts are facts,” urged Tramore local David Deasy, as he spread the damning claims on social media earlier this morning.

The revelations will have dealt a blow to many immigrants who have spent years shielding the Irish public from this shocking information.

Although the origin of the latest figures is unclear, they have been validated by a number of individuals whose suspicions had been raised in regards to foreigners a number of years ago.

“It’s not the stealing of the jobs that bugs me, but the manner in which they do it,” explained Cormac Kinsella, a former software engineer from Kildare.

“I was sitting at my desk last week in work and in came these Nigerian lads, well, I didn’t check their passports, but sure for the story we’ll say Nigerian, and they just threw me out of my chair and stole my job from me. Started engineering some software in front of everyone, but no one batted an eyelid, sure, we’re all used to this happening at this stage,” he added visibly distraught.

Mr. Kinsella confirmed he would not be reporting the theft to the Gardaí as “they would do nothing about it”.

“It’s just typical, and I’d be fooling no one if I said I was surprised,” revealed local foreign expert Ed Clancy, “sure I haven’t a hope of getting a job. Went to the doctors the other day, course he wasn’t Irish,” Clancy added, seemingly implying that despite his lack of medical training, he could perhaps be a better doctor than Dr. Dev Patel, an English native.

The Government for their part have apologised, stating that they have tried their best to contain all those seeking political asylum in direct provision centres, a system which has successfully kept many of them from interfering with Irish society.

“Look it, if we have the UN on our back of about our human rights issues, you know we’re doing something right,” a spokesman for the Government confirmed.