FOR many of us, the day-to-day drudge of life can sometimes overwhelm us and lead to moments where we can decide to continue the activity which is the root of our stresses, or simply say fuck this and go for a feed of drink.
Although conventional wisdom stresses that abandoning ones work or home commitments in favour of a rip of pints is the answer to nothing, there are some unexpected benefits to shirking one’s responsibilities and taking up a one-day residence at the fuck-this hotel. Benefits such as…
1) No More Stress
The clearest advantage to sneaking out of work or school and heading straight to the nearest pub is the fact that it immediately removes you from the situation which was causing you to fret and worry. There are no deadlines in the pub! You don’t have a boss in a beer garden! Granted, the work you have shrugged off will still be waiting for you the next day, in actuality it will be much more difficult now that you’ve lumped it in with tomorrow’s tasks, but right now, in this one, shining, beautiful moment, you haven’t a care in the world.
2) You’ve Got A Crystal Clear Head
Work, home, or social issues can cloud your mind, leaving you unable to think clearly. A rip of drink will cut through that fog, leaving you with a clarity of vision akin to that of the Gods. Everything seems easier! The solution to all your problems fall at your feet! Plans for your future stretch far in your mind. Granted, you have a two, maybe three hour window before the drink envelopes this clear-mindedness and the crushing doubts and fears return, but it’s wonderful while it lasts.
3) It’s Fun
Oh, so much fun! We’ll admit, it would be more fun if you were in the pub with some friends, or it was taking place at the weekend or whatever. But hey, if those guys want to knuckle down and uphold their responsibilities, that’s on them. You’re on the lash! On your own! At four o’clock on a weekday! You can talk to that aul lad in the corner. That’s pretty fun, right?
4) It’s Proof That You Don’t Have A Drinking Problem
Because if you had a drinking problem, you wouldn’t have ditched work to go on the lash, right? Hell, you probably wouldn’t have been at work at all. And if you were at work, you’d probably have waited until you got home before hitting a bottle of spirits in the kitchen. This isn’t a compulsion, it’s a choice! Oh, while you’re here, remember to pick up a naggin for the bus home before the off-license closes.
5) Did We Mention You’re Not At Work?
It bears repeating. Drinking = not working. So that’s good, right? OK, you’ll be hungover tomorrow, but people at your place of work show up hungover all the time. Blowing off your stress with a gorge of drink is just how Irish people deal with things! We couldn’t all have an unhealthy attitude toward alcohol, surely.