Polyamorous Bisexual Transgender Blind Women Now Earning More Than One-Legged Pre-Op Transsexuals Named Dave

IN another damning indictment of how far we as a society need to go in order to have equality for everyone, it has been revealed that a polyamourous bisexual, transgender blind woman named Caroline earns 6 dollars more a day than her one-legged pre-op transsexual co-worker, Dave.

Both Dave Harris and Caroline Mahoney work as aides in a prestigious law firm in Colorado, and both are terrible at their jobs. Despite starting at the same time and doing the same amount of hours every day, Caroline receives an extra half-dozen dollars in her paycheque every day.

Bosses at Harper, Stevens & Marks have been quick to challenge any claims of discrimination, and have issued an emphatic statement to say that they’re not sure why Caroline receives the extra money, and that maybe it’s something that should be brought up with payroll.

“Gay, bling, one-legged, male, female, quarter-male, whatever; everyone gets treated the same here,” said Phil Harper, CEO at Harper, Stevens & Marks.

“We are not looking favourably on Ms. Mahoney because she is a polymers bisexual, transgender blind woman, nor are we discriminating against Mr. Harper because he’s… whatever he is. Now we’ll say this one last time: get off our property”.

As Dave’s multi-million dollar discrimination lawsuit continues, Caroline has launched her own counter-suit, claiming reverse-discrimination had ruined her life.