Royals Haven’t Been To Mass Since The Christening

PARISHIONERS of the St Mary Magdalene Church in Sandringham, Norfolk , have confirmed that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge haven’t set foot in the place since the baptism of their baby daughter Charlotte.

Prince William and his wife Kate Middleton held a baptism for baby Charlotte earlier this month, in the same church that Princess Diana was baptised in.

However, neither William nor Kate have engaged in any other parish activities, and have not brought their children to mass since the ceremony.

This has led many people to suggest that the Royals only held a baptism ceremony “for a day out”, and have no intentions of actually raising their children in a religious home.

“Probably just did it to get the child into a good school,” said Miriam Hendridge, who helps clean the church on weekday mornings.

“We see it all the time here, they land in dressed to the nines, recording the whole thing on their iPhones, and then head off for a big piss-up and a carvery lunch. But do they bring the kid to mass every week? Do they fuck. Splash of water on the head, and that’s the last you see of them”.

A spokesperson for the Royal family has stressed that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge absolutely intend to bring their kids to mass, except on Sundays when they just want a lie-in, or on Saturday nights when The X-Factor is on.