Greece Apply For New €53 Billion Bailout, New Shoes, Flat Screen TV & Ice Cream

EU leaders are said to be assessing the Greek Government’s latest bailout proposals, but many people in the know have criticised the fine print contained within the 13 page document.

The Syriza Government has proposed a total of €53 billion in funding, which will, they say, insure them against falling further into peril with the much needed money keeping the country ticking over.

However, certain items listed in the fine print of the proposal has angered several European leaders as it is alleged Greek PM Alexis Tsipras has tried to ‘pull a fast one’.

In addition to the €53 billion, Tsipras has asked for a new pair of shoes, a flat screen TV with (HD TV compatibility) and a huge supply of ice cream.

“The solidarity our people have shown in standing up to Europe and austerity deserves at the very least €53 billion in loans and at the most enough ice cream for everyone,” Tsipras is alleged to have told Greek newspaper Empros, “c’mon everybody loves ice cream,” he added.

Responding to these latest rumours Ireland’s Taoiseach Enda Kenny had some harsh words for the contrary Greek leader.

“No, no, this isn’t fair. It’s either a debt write down for us or no debt write downs for anyone and I tried very hard to get the Irish people some free Enya CDs, but if I couldn’t get them, then no way are the Greeks getting ice cream,” the Taoiseach said in the brief media address.

The fine print said to be almost impossible to read and was only discovered after Angela Merkel put the proposals on a projector at a meeting of EU leaders.

“I knew I should have told to make the print even smaller,” former Greek finance minister Yanis Varoufakis is alleged to have from deep within a secret cave network in outer Mongolia.