Mick Wallace One Good Lead Away From Bustin’ This Case Wide Open

THERE’S something not quite right about the dealings between NAMA and an American private equity firm, and Independent TD Mick Wallace feels he is one good lead away from bustin’ this whole stinking case wide open, see.

Wallace, who has taken to wearing a long trench coat and sucking on lollipops, stated earlier last week that a portfolio of assets on the National Asset Management Agencies Northern Ireland books was sold for up to €3bn less than it was worth, adding that he believes that this thing “goes all the way to the top, see”.

The portfolio, known as ‘Project Eagle’, was sold to an American company called Cerberus for €1.5bn, despite it’s actual worth being more in the region of €4.5bn.

Via a complex series of photos pasted onto his wall and connected by pins and red string, Wallace drew attention to approximately £7m sterling, which wound up in an Isle of Man bank account: money that Wallace claims ended up in the pocket of a high-level Northern Ireland politician.

“I’m telling you chief, somethin’ stinks about this, see?” said Wallace, pacing back and forth in his office.

“You’ve got money goin’ where it ain’t supposed to be goin’, and nothin’ being done about it. We’re talking taxpayers money here, see, just written off the books so that some lousy no-good schmucks can make a fast buck. I’m this close, this close to blowin’ the lid off this whole thing!”

Wallace has been warned by his superiors to stay away from this case ‘cos he don’t know what he’s gettin’ into, but the determined Wexford TD has opted to press ahead with his investigation with the help of a hotshot rookie who he didn’t like at first, but grew to respect.