5 Things You Can Do With Your Extra ‘Leap Second’

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FOR the first time in three years, scientists will tonight ‘add’ another second to the world’s most accurate atomic clocks, allowing them to sync up with the rotation of the earth which slows down by an almost immeasurably small amount every year.

As the clock strikes midnight, this ‘leap second’ will be counted, meaning that you have an extra one-sixtieth of a minute to do whatever you want to do. Here’s a few things you can do with this precious extra time:

1) Continue worrying about shit you can’t do anything about

If you find yourself spending a lot of time stressing out about things that are beyond your control, then today’s your lucky day! You’ll have a whole extra second to devote to this pointless endeavour. Be sure to get really stressed out now; you won’t get another Leap Second until 2018!

2) Dwell on the past a bit more

Similarly, if you’re the kind of person who can’t let the past go, then tonight you get a little bit more time to pore over your life; what you’ve done, what you failed to do, opportunities that passed you by… you can just lie there as the clock strikes 23:59:60 and drive yourself crazy for no good reason.

3) Worry about what people think about you

Getting bent out of shape over people’s opinions of you is a hugely productive use of your time, and tonight you can do that wee bit more of it than you did last night! Have a nice, long, mentally stressful search through all the ways you can change your personality and lifestyle to better suit others, so that they can like you more, therefore allowing you to like yourself more.

4) Stare at your phone

Hey, who doesn’t love lying awake all night, staring at their phone? And tonight we’re getting an extra second of phone-staring time? Yes please, Dr. Clock! We’ll take all you’ve got!

5) Avoid planes falling out of the sky

It’s important tonight to be outside, in a wide open space where you can run in any direction. Leap seconds can cause computer errors, causing airplanes to just drop out of the sky, nuclear weapons to launch themselves, and your DVR to stop taping Diners, Drive-Ins & Dives. Be prepared.

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