Gardaí To Continue ‘Let Them Shoot Each Other’ Approach To Gangland Crime

A SPOKESPERSON for An Garda Síochána has confirmed that the police force are to continue their policy of standing back and allowing gangland criminals to kill each other, despite recent incidents in which innocent civilians have lost their lives.

Criminal gangs in Dublin and Limerick, as well as across the country, have so far been allowed to shoot each other as and when they please, in an operation known as ‘Thanks for doing our job for us’ by senior Gardaí.

The murders, which have become an all too common occurrence, are usually followed by an arrest, which leads to little or no actual prosecutions or jail time.

In an official statement, it was explained that the already-stretched Garda reserves cannot invest the time needed to bring these killers to justice, adding “sure they’ll probably get a bullet themselves” soon enough.

“Do ye have any idea how hard it would be to actually police Dublin city, or Limerick?” asked Sean Rossiter, chief spokesperson for An Garda Síochána.

“So we just kinda leave them to it. Sure, we don’t even have guns, so there’s no sense in getting involved. Just let them shoot away and kill themselves. We’ll show up when all’s said and done and cordon off the area for a while, make it look like we’re doing something, but fuck it, no, we’re not getting involved”.

Rossiter failed to comment on the tragic recent murders of innocent people caught up in the crossfire or killed in cases of mistaken identity, but stressed that the Guards had made significant headway in the ongoing fight against housing estates with no water meters.