Stage Crew To Erect Hand Rails For Aging U2

STAGE crew officials have today guaranteed aging rock band U2 that a series of hand-railings will prevent any more accidents on tour, after lead guitarist The Edge fell off the stage mid-show last night.

Stage manager Rocko Reedy told Waterford Whispers News that three kilometres of specially designed handrails have already been ordered from a care-home company in the UK, and will be erected in time for the band’s next live show.

“We’ve also ordered four mobility scooters as some of the tour locations require the band to walk some distance to the stage,” Mr. Reedy explained. “Chair lifts have also been installed for Larry Mullen, who struggles with chairs due to sciatic nerve problems”.

Full time carer for The Edge, Nancy Kennedy, said the 53-year-old is expected to make a full recovery from last nights fall.

“David bruises quite easily these days,” said the nurse, who had just finished giving him his daily sponge bath. “I think he’s more frightened and confused than anything else. These handrails will make the world of difference to the poor dears”.

U2 is expected to continue their world tour tonight in Vancouver before taking the tour to the US.